I want a switch just like this...
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Sunday, 3 April 2011
The little things...
It's the little things that I miss most and it is also the little things that I fear most.
I did some filing today and happened to come across a hotel bill where we had checked in as "Mr and Mrs XX". I started crying. I long for so many things and I miss what my life with him made MY life WITH him.
I miss his touch.
I miss his breath on my skin.
I miss the softness of his lips.
I miss his smile.
I miss the sparkle in his eyes.
I miss the feeling of coming "home" that I had when I saw him after work.
I fear stumbling over his name on every second document from the last 5 years.
I fear having to see his name popping up in Skype and not being able to talk to him.
I fear seeing him with someone else.
I fear deleting his name from my contacts.
I fear that he forgets to delete me as emergency contact.
I fear forgetting how he smells.
Every step in my life is just a reaction to what is happening to me at the moment. I don't plan. I am walking round, somehow, but he has killed me.
I did some filing today and happened to come across a hotel bill where we had checked in as "Mr and Mrs XX". I started crying. I long for so many things and I miss what my life with him made MY life WITH him.
I miss his touch.
I miss his breath on my skin.
I miss the softness of his lips.
I miss his smile.
I miss the sparkle in his eyes.
I miss the feeling of coming "home" that I had when I saw him after work.
I fear stumbling over his name on every second document from the last 5 years.
I fear having to see his name popping up in Skype and not being able to talk to him.
I fear seeing him with someone else.
I fear deleting his name from my contacts.
I fear that he forgets to delete me as emergency contact.
I fear forgetting how he smells.
Every step in my life is just a reaction to what is happening to me at the moment. I don't plan. I am walking round, somehow, but he has killed me.
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