Too many feelings overcome me on a daily basis. My mind doesn't know where to stop; my brain is engaged all the time. I don't sleep. I don't eat. I am forcing the life out of my body. I can't focus. How did I end up here?
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Tried again. Failed again. Failed worse.
I always had certain dreams about how my life would be "later". Where I was. What I was. Whom I was with. I cherished these dreams, hopes, designs of my future. But at the moment, "life" feels like something that just does not happen to me. I stand still, do not move, do not improve, do not go on, do not develop. I just am. This disturbs me. This is not what I wanted to be. The present is the opposite to what I wanted.
I am alone. When it happened before, it did not bother me. But this time it was not my choice. Now it feels like someone drenches the will to live out of me like water out of a sponge. I still cannot believe this is happening to me. It feels unreal, like a bad dream. But when I wake up, the reality is worse.
I need to
Overcome the darkness
Regain my power
Focus on my strengths
I want to be someone who sees the silver lining.
